Resistance is the driver of avoidance and fear 

Resistance, that annoying companion by our side, who without fail, makes an appearance, and at the most inopportune moments whenever you want to accomplish something, and puts a spanner in the works, trips you up and makes you watch the TV or do anything but what you should be doing.

Right?

Stopping you getting going and moving forward with your big small business ideas.

I think Freud expressed it perfectly when he talked about the big elephant in the room to what is stopping you.

He called it a death wish and if you sit back and think about it, he was right

He said,

That destructive force inside human nature that rises whenever we consider a tough long-term course of action that might do for us or others something that is actually good

And I completely agree, it is a very destructive force and one that needs to be overcome.

I come across people on a regular basis, who, with great conviction, say how much they want to write a book, start a business or pursue a passion.

This is then closely followed by a laundry list of reasons why whatever they say they want to do hasn’t happened yet.

I find it very, very sad; so many people are trapped in this world of resistance and don’t know how to jump onto the path of least resistance.

They are trapped right in that space between the full on and real desire to do something and then moving themselves to doing it.

Many people live here, on Resistance Street, sad and frustrated and as that other very famous quote dismally says “living lives of quiet desperation with their song still inside of them”

So, would I be talking about you when I ask?

• Are you facing obstacles, real or imagined on the path you want to follow? Or
• Do you tell yourself you really want to start but find you keep doing other things instead? You know when
• You make a deal with yourself to really get going, after work, or at the weekend but end up watching TV instead?

If so you then you are facing your own spell of resistance.

It will show up and try to stop you moving forward, usually right at the beginning of when you want to start something, when you are in that fired up and “yep today is the day I am going to do it” mode.

Resistance will try and convince you your obstacles are a mountain that you cannot climb.

But like most mountains there is usually a path, much lower down that goes around it that you can take instead.

You don’t always have to go straight up the most common route everyone else takes to get to the top.

So why not take the easier route?

But first let’s look at some of those rocks in your pathway.

Recognising they are there to begin with, means you can address them and then do something about them.

But before you start analysing your resistance, the number one rule you need to take on board is…

You need to ask yourself the right, honest questions in order to get the right, honest answers.

Here are 2 extremely common themes that will raise their ugly head right when you don’t need them to!

Talk to anyone who has ever wanted to move their life forward and they will tell you they faced

Resistance Issue 1 - Fear

Fear is a funny thing, often described as False Evidence Appearing Real.

False evidence that most likely doesn’t have any substance except in your own mind, like

• You are afraid of failing or
• You are afraid of family and friends making fun of you & not supporting you?
• You are afraid of not being good enough?
• You are afraid, surprising but a possibility of doing well and people not liking you anymore?
• You are afraid of stepping of your comfort zone and so on…
• I am sure you can add your own fear to this list; because you are not alone, people do have a lot of them…

So, what to do about them?

First off you need to find out what it is you are afraid of and then face it or them if more than one, completely head on.

Perhaps then you could talk to your family and friends about your feelings?

You might find you are completely off base about whatever is playing on your mind and your perceived elephant in the room is just elephant sized in your own head.

They might be able to help you more than you ever hoped for with some great solutions or their ability to look at things from a completely different perspective.

Conversely, you will know best if it might be wiser to keep your thoughts to yourself and get on with things quietly.

Sometimes talking with people who have never experienced your situation can have a detrimental effect on your confidence.

People can project their own fears into the situation rather than offering wisdom.

And it is something to be aware of but don’t let it stop your ball rolling, you must keep moving forward to overcome your resistance.

Your other option would be to...

Find your own personal mentors in person, on a bookshelf or in your earbuds to go to when you are facing difficult times.

When you learn about how other people started, you will come to realise absolutely everyone has the same fears and doubts at the beginning that you do.

No one can get you over them; you must do that yourself, but take advantage of all the free information available, go through the feelings then plan to move forward.

Inspiration from other people can be a great catalyst to help you overcome your fear

Sir Richard Branson started at the bottom just like everyone else and I am sure he was nervous and faced resistance many times in his career.

Do you remember when you learned to swim?

Eventually you let go of the side and you could swim, and you realised you were not going to drown after all.

Did you laugh to yourself and wonder why you made such a fuss with about it.…!

Overcoming a fear is a similar feeling.

You are learning to let go of the side.

We have covered fear now we are heading towards

Resistance Issue 2 - Avoidance

Are you avoiding moving forward because you don’t know the how or what of your project?

They are very big drivers of avoidance

It will be a criminal waste of your talent you know if you don’t share your knowledge and experience with a wider audience just because you don’t know how to do something right this minute.

Every great person/place/thing/invention started with a day one and a lack of complete knowledge

No one starts anything fully formed and perfect.

No one came into the world knowing how to drive a car or write their name. We all learned how to do things.

But what every career change person does have in common is they started from step 1.

So, get down to it and learn what it is you need to know, or find someone you can pay to do what you can’t or won’t do.

Let’s take bookkeeping is a perfect example of this problem.

Every business needs it. Not every business wants to do it, and especially when just starting out.

But the thought of it for some new business owners is enough to bring the wheels of motion to a complete standstill before they even sell a bean.

But realistically, if you are just starting out, you won’t have complex accounts

So, you can buy a book and learn, or take a class, find a friend or probably mostly useful find someone locally who can do your books for you if you really can’t face the idea.

You might be worrying about the initial expense, but the benefit can outweigh the cost when you realise what other things they can do for you, like mitigating tax for example, or showing you stuff you could claim for.

Your path will become easier when you remove the obstacle, rather than just stop and stare at it, and keep viewing it as an obstacle.

There is always an answer to be found from someone somewhere whatever the problem is.

A more pressing rock in the road could be the honesty question…

Are you avoiding doing the work because you are just a bit lazy?

If so, then don’t perhaps waste your time pursuing any ideas at all, you are probably just daydreaming purely because you like the idea of designing your own job, but you don’t want to put the time and effort in.

No successful person ever got a project off the ground by sitting around watching Netflix and drinking wine.

A level of sacrifice is required that transcends any resistance you might be feeling.

Want more about Resistance?

I highly recommend the book by

 Stephen Pressfield called The War of Art

And it is a real war, and it is one with you.

You will find yourself undertaking many battles with yourself to overcome 101 reasons not to move forward.

It is so much easier to do something else when you get home at night or the weekend rolls around once again.

In my opinion his book is the definitive text on the subject.

He is the world’s most widely quoted author on the subject and encourages you to break through blocks and win your inner creative battles

Stephen has written a good few books, many of which have been turned into films, so he is clearly familiar with the creative process and how, when and why resistance occurs.

But his breakthrough came when he recognised the problem of resistance was not just something creative people felt when they sat down to write a book or paint a picture.

He discovered anyone who ever had to start from a blank slate faced the same problem.

And my guess is that includes you at some point.

I think you will find his ideas very useful as you begin this journey towards your independence.

He has you and your excuses all figured out, so you can’t hide from yourself.